Hello! Long time, no write! It’s been quite some time, hasn’t it? While it wouldn’t be a stretch to say I haven’t had a coherent thought since January 6th, I’ve been preoccupied with a few writing things, some work things, as well as getting a new car, new job, moving, etc. etc....but recently, I was STRUCK by an opinion so egregious that it almost disarmed me. I was taking a Russell Westbrook eating on the bench peek at Kanye West’s album DONDA and found myself, much to my dismay, liking it? Spooky Weeknd harmonies on “Hurricane”. Fivio Foreign’s done-in-one-take verse on “Off the Grid” is so hard that I feel almost as if I should personally apologize for in the past saying he has no bars. And finally, most controversially, the dually self-aggrandizing and self-deprecatory “Jail”, the long-awaited collaboration with Jay-Z (OK, these are the only songs I listened to but I’m certain they are the best ones).
When it was leaked that Jay-Z was to join Kanye on “Jail” the internet reaction was, well, as reactive as always “Finally, they’ve buried the hatchet!” “Friends again!” “Maybe Beyoncé* didn’t like Kim because now that she’s gone, she’s finally letting them hang out again!” “Does this mean Watch The Throne 2 could actually happen?” “Will North and Blue Ivy ever hang out?”** It was all excitement! Possibility!
That was, until, they actually heard the verse. Twitter users who attended quipped that if the rumors are true that Jay-Z recorded his verse right before the listening party, the verse sounded like it, and him opening with a throwaway line--“God in my cell, that’s my cellie”-- was further evidence that maybe he didn’t want to be on this album at all. When DONDA officially dropped, a number of critics panned the verse, NPR called it an “ear splitting failure” , Rolling Stone said it was “atrociously written”, Complex called the caption-ready lines “ridiculous”, and Pitchfork called the allusion to their reconciliation Jay’s “biggest rap lie since he claimed he lost 92 bricks.” (?)
Intrigued by criticism of any kind, I had to go take a close listen to find out for myself. In classic Jay-Z form, the verse laden with entendre that, in hindsight, might (and I hate to use this phrase)“go over the heads” of those who might not actually have any interaction with subject matter—jail or Black American religiosity.
Now having listened to both DONDA (in part) and Certified Lover Boy (in full), I consider the “Jail” appearance, his best of the verses on the two projects, and perhaps evidence of my status as not the biggest rap fan, a really good verse, in its own right.
So let’s have a look-see, shall we?
God in my cells, that's my celly
Made in the image of God, that's a selfie
Ah yes the offending: “in my cell, that’s my celly” line. For me, this line sets the tone of the entire verse, so misunderstanding it (or not finding it compelling) would definitely ruin the remainder of the song. Here Jay uses his signature double-entendre (or known literarily as the homonym) to use “cells” to refer to both “jail cell” (as in the title of the song) and “cells”, as in his DNA or corporeal body. “Celly”/ “Cellie” is both prison slang for one’s cellmate and another word for “cell phone”, which (far more frequently in the past, when there was more regular distinction between the cellphone and landline) is also colloquially referred to as a “cell.” So, because God is part of him, He is always Jay’s cellmate.
The second line builds on the first. “Made in the image of God'' references the book of Genesis in the Bible (1:27), where God says he makes man “in his own image, in the image of God he created him.” If Jay is made in the image of God, then he looks the exact same as him or is a “selfie” of God. Selfies are also taken on cell phones, or, a celly.
Pray five times a day, so many felonies
Who gon' post my bail? Lord, help me
The tone of this couplet (desperation) is actually set by the second line, where Jay laments that he cannot post bail, calling out to the Christian “Lord [Jesus]” to help him. The bail is so high because of the numerous felonies he mentioned in the first line.
“Pray five times a day” is a reference to the Muslim practice of praying 5 times per day. For each, practicing Muslims do so on their knees, thereby “so many felonies” is not an entendre (or homonym, same word/sound, multiple meanings), but rather a homophone (different words/meanings, same sound) where “felonies” sounds like “fell on knees”.
I heard a few jokes that Jay was confused in his reference to both Islam and Christianity. Aside from the historical overlap between the two, it is also very common to convert to Islam in jail. At least for Black (American) people. Growing up, it was sort of understood that if someone had disappeared then returned having converted to Islam, they probably just had gotten locked up. Is that just a New York thing? Can anyone verify?
Anyway, while the praying multiple times a day is an ode to the piousness he assumes in desperation in hopes of making bail, this also builds on the foundational imagery of him actually being inside an actual prison, begun by references to his cells/cellie. Which will come up again later on.
Hol' up, Donda, I'm with your baby when I touch back road
Told him, "Stop all of that red cap, we goin' home"
In this couplet, Jay pauses his prayers (“Hol’ up) for himself, to address Kanye’s deceased mother, the eponymous DONDA, and makes a promise to her that when he gets “out” —either literally or mentally—he will be looking out for her son, since she no longer can. “Touch road” is slang for being released after serving time in prison.
“Red cap” refers, perhaps obviously, to Kanye’s recent political antics and the “Make America Great” hat he donned, that is now synonymous with Donald Trump and the fascist wing of the Republican Party. “Cap” is also slang for gratuitous lying or bullshiting, so Jay-Z takes a brotherly stance, and offers Kanye forgiveness for the things he’s said and done recently, and invites him back to his proverbial “home” with him.
This second line made me a little emotional, when read as reference to Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son. In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus tells the Parable of Prodigal Son, about a man who has two sons, and the younger one asks for his portion of the inheritance and goes out and squanders it being an ass, and eventually is left destitute. When he returns empty-handed, he is prepared to beg for his father’s acceptance but to the younger son’s (and the responsible, older one’s) surprise, he is not scorned but welcomed back with a celebration. The older son is jealous and refuses to participate and the father tells him “you are ever with me, and all that I have is yours, but thy younger brother was lost and now he is found.”
It’s said Jesus told us the story of the prodigal son to remind us that nevermind what we’ve done, just come home.
Not me with all of these sins, castin' stones
This might be the return of The Throne (Throne)
In this couplet, Jay-Z makes another well-trodden biblical reference to the famous quote in the book of John 8:7 which says: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone”. In this story, a group of men in the city are preparing to stone a woman for committing the crime of adultery. In order to trap Jesus into conceding to the violent law, they reference the Law of Moses edict which the punishment for adultery is being stoned. Jesus responds with the line about casting stones, and tells the woman he does not condemn her and that she should go and “sin no more”. So here, Jay is showing self-awareness that he’s held judgement towards Kanye while he too is flawed with sins of his own.
The second line naturally recalls Watch the Throne, the 2011 collaborative project between Jay-Z and Kanye West. During one tweeting episode (potentially the one which gave us “Kris Jong Un”) , West teased that “Watch the Throne 2” would be “coming soon” despite widespread reports of him and Z not speaking. This line teases the possibility once more. Additionally, the story referenced in the previous line, occurs during the latter part of Jesus’ public ministry before he is again crucified on the cross, after which, he will return to “his throne” at the right hand of the Father.
Hova and Yeezus, like Moses and Jesus
You are not in control of my thesis
The accuracy of conflating Jay-Z and Kanye to Moses and Jesus, as God (or perhaps, rap’s) “chosen ones” is neither here nor there, but the main takeaway here is that both Moses and Jesus were vessels for the voice of God so you cannot control their messages or “theses” because they come from God. The actual relationship between the two might be more analogous to John the Baptist and Jesus, but that just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
You already know what I think 'bout think pieces
Before you ask, he already told you who he think he is
Jay-Z is reminding us he doesn’t care about our (valid) criticisms of him. Or “think pieces” like this one, which is also very good. And he uses the second line to remind us the listener that Kanye has already informed us that he believes himself to be a god.
Don't try to jail my thoughts and think pre-cents
I can't be controlled with programs and presets
Reset
I actually don’t know what this line means beyond what is stated, if anything. It could just be one of those “don’t be a sheep” sentiments. Whatever that means.
On my cell, in my cell tonight
Don't have to see you to touch you
Returning to the site of “the cell”, we are brought back to the opening line of the verse, where the “place” of this poem, remains not only a jail, but specifically, a jail cell. Occasionally, incarcerated men and women are able to get access to cell phones for casual use, either to make TikToks, call friends and lovers, write poetry, or perhaps, in his case, put out a hit. There are likely three readings of these two lines: a romantic one, a spiritual one and a threatening one, on the basis that “To be touched” can be literal, spiritual, or metaphorical.
“To get touched” is also slang for allowing or orchestrating for someone to be killed. In this case, the narrator (Jay-Z, presumably) could be in his cell, calling someone to put a hit on them. He could be again referencing the presence of God, as in the opening verse (He is his cellmate, afterall), where he does not have to see God to be touched by His presence. Or lastly, he could be calling or texting someone who he cannot physically touch, but is able to do so with his words or messages.
This is what braille look like, it's on sight
If they take me to jail, call my girl, tell her send my mail
To be honest, this first line was doing so many things that it took me a few listens to fully understand it word-for-word. But ultimately, this line serves the translation of the previous that the narrator is putting out a hit.
“Braille” is the medium that allows blind people to read text and it is done so by feeling raised bumps on a page. “On sight” is slang for inciting a fight or altercation immediately when opponents see one another (“It’s on sight”). Remember: in the previous line, we were reminded that Jay-Z does not have “to see us to touch us”, in the same way you don’t have to see braille to touch it. And “on” someone or something is to swear on a bygone (or beloved) person/place, to emphasize the clarity/intent/severity of your statement or action (“on my mother”, for example). Therefore, Jay-Z is likening his threat to braille (“This is what braille look like”= “don’t have to see you to touch you”) and emphasizing its severity by putting it “on sight”, or literally, “on vision” which is cherished (because no one wants to be blind), but in this case is not around or lost, if a person is using braille.
The second part emphasizes how serious he is about this threat because he goes straight to asking his mail to be sent to him, meaning that he knows if he gets taken to jail he won’t be getting out any time soon.
We know what Hell look like
Still, it's a hell of a life, yikes
These lines are also mostly self-explanatory. The “hell” is referring to general QUOTE street life, jail itself, the road to coming up. But despite this, it’s still a helluva life. “Hell of a”--for any non-English speakers reading this--is an idiom used to exaggerate some other person, place or thing as “very” something, usually, very difficult or very remarkable. So despite having seen hell, he still has a remarkable life.
This final line also combines the title of two West songs, “Hell of a Life” from 2010’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy and “Yikes” from 2018’s Ye. Shout out to Genius for the latter half of this reference, because I did not listen to that album.
And that’s it! Thanks to anyone who made it this far. Sorry not sorry if you signed up for this thinking this newsletter was going to be salient sociopolitical takes. Nope. None of that. It’s all jokes and bants here. Have any questions about any claims I said? Alternative interpretations? Drop me a line (or, is it “shoot me” a line? What am I trying to say? What does that even mean?) and let’s get into it (yuh).
Until next time!
*Beyoncé if you are reading this this was a joke, I don’t mean it I know you would never do such a thing
**No